I should have seen this coming, I should have! How could I be so impatient?

That trip is already taking up so many of my commitments. But what can I do? Blame myself for it? It's no use, I know, because even if I got to know about it later, the fact still remains that I have to choose between this and that.
AND I HATE IT.
I do not like to be at crossroads.

I'll be missing so many things that I so do not want to miss. But I just can't do anything at all!

Nevertheless, I'll wait, and hang on for that little tinge of hope. That little spark of light, that will hopefully spring some pleasant surprises...